“I Can Only Imagine“ by MercyMe is a very powerful song and it really makes me think what’s next. This life is merely a fraction of our time that makes up eternity. I spend so much time leaning on God now because I know one day I’ll walk with him. Just the idea of walking. What I would do in one day if given the chance of a full restoration of body, I would take full advantage of it.
I don’t think any of us realize that have our bodies just how much there is out there to do. I’ve spent nearly 14 years in a wheelchair now and I don’t even remember the feeling of walking. I don’t remember what it’s like to have 2 feet firmly planted on the ground. But in heaven, I’ll be given a new body, which is what my eternal father promises me if I accept Him into my heart which I have. This is not just good news to me but great new.
As for my mental health, the battle ends there. No lies from the enemy. Just love, peace and happiness for eternity. I spent so much time thinking I was Jesus when really the whole time the battle was with the enemy. It was the battle in my mind to fight between what was truth and what was a lie. I was leaning on my own understanding of who I thought Jesus was, and I thought I could measure up. Little did I know the miracles He performed while on this earth and how He still performs miracles every single day through the power of the Holy Spirit. I feel his presence with me now, but it’s not Me being him it’s Him working through me through the Holy Spirit that was given to me a baptism.
I lean strongly on my faith and invite the Holy Spirit in each morning and throughout the day. You can see tiny miracles performed throughout your day just like the right thing you need to always being there within arms reach. How that parking spot is just always open for me or how traffic always seems to be on the opposite side of the highway.
These small pleasures, give me great joy, peace, understanding, love, gratitude, patience to know help is always on the way. The main one I have lacked is self control over impulsive decisions and I think a lot of that has to do with mental health, habits and the society we live in.
I work hard to praise God every day for the simple things in life and when I do even more joys appear. Always take joy in the little things because that’s what it’s all about. The little things add up. It’s not about the big accomplishments, praise or becoming rich and famous. It’s about being humble and lowly and praising God for each and every success you have and blessing are given.
I’m truly thankful for the people I have in my life especially my household, for my fiancé, Emily and for her sharing her three amazing kids. Love is all it takes to change the world. Loving God first will teach you to love others as he does. Just always remember the golden rule. Treat others the way you would like to be treated. My love pours out to all of you. I can only imagine the next chapter, the chapter after that, and the infinite chapter where I hope to spend eternity.
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I remember my days in a wheelchair. It was not 13 years but nearly 26 months before I was recovered. Then when I fell after my total knee had the second surgery and the infection. I am again learning to walk. It’s difficult but your life is harder than that. Your faith will always be your anchor if you practice it. Be honest with yourself and others. I pray for you often.
With love, your cousin
Mark
I love you so much, Mark. I have a deep amount of gratitude for the time we’ve spent together. I wish it could be more. I do agree that faith is what carries you through. That is what I have been trying to lean heavily. My wheelchair completely broke today so I am going to be without a wheelchair for months. I will have a manual chair that I can get into but with my blood pressure issues it won’t be suitable. The only hope is that I get a loaner chair that is suitable to my medical needs. Until then, I’ll keep the faith and have hope.
I love you, cousin
Adam