STABLE

It’s no mystery then in 2019 I had a manic episode, but that does define and that is not the person that I am today. My mental health stabilized quickly and today I am healthier and better than ever before. When I first moved back to Akron, the doctors goal was just to eliminate the delusional thoughts so they did that by heavily medicating me. Years of counseling later, a better understanding of the Bible, and with the help of an amazing psychiatrist from SummaHealth, I am now able to think clearly without any triggers with minimal medication.

The medication I’m on now is what would be considered a low dose for anyone with bipolar disorder. The thing is, we’re even thinking about lowering this down more. As I’ve gotten off of these medications you would think signs and triggers would multiply, but in reality I’m more stable than I have ever been. 

Many things have kept me grounded. I read the Bible every day. I take care of three amazing kids. I have an amazing extremely rewarding career with an even better mentor. I’m engaged and planning a wedding. The events of real life consume my thoughts and keep me grounded, and I am far from ever entering a state of grandiosity. 

I’m so proud that I’ve come this far and I have so many people to thank for keeping me grounded, like my fiancé and my family. A wandering mind is a dangerous mind, but mine has been busy and if ever I’ve got a moment of silence I use it to talk to God through prayer. I believe prayer is a very powerful tool and every day I see my prayers answered. 

My whole life all I’ve ever wanted is a family, so there’s no reason for me to have grandiose thoughts and want more like wanting to rule the world. I’ve got everything I could ever want. The people in my life that support me are beyond special, and I have to thank all of you for being there for me every step of the way. There are so many people that suffer from mental health issues that try to do it alone but honestly you can’t do it without a support system. A good support system is everything if you’re going to make it through.

I also know that I am loved always because God is a God of love, and he died for me on the cross so that I could be forgiven and one day walk in His kingdom. Walking was always the trigger for me that back when I was manic, I told everyone I was going to do to prove that I was Jesus. Turns out Jesus is much more than a one trick pony. He fulfilled nearly all of the prophecies spelled out in the Old Testament, and I simply never was going to measure up. We are all made in the likeness and image of God but none of us can simply measure up to be him. I’m just thankful to be a child of God, to be loved by God, and to one they have the privilege to walk again in His kingdom.